I love Kim Kardashian.

I paint kim kardashian: dont like the result.

when the world goes to shit, I want to move to a small village and work on the field.

This ended up being a completely fictional story about a lost couple in the countryside that didnt end well for one of them.

fake nails and kale?

dia slides subtitles

while painting this I daydream about working on de Zuidas in Amsterdam, so I buy a suit

KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHAINS; KEEPING UP WITH KIM; KEEPING UP WITH KLASKE

Personal Paparazzi

enjoy images that are taken splitsecond afte eachother, almost nothing changes but it tells a whole story.

?? do you need more images or could only 1 work? >>>>> cindy sherman

CHAracters, Stories, Alteregos, Identity

FAME, SOCIAL MEDIA
but also, what keeps us busy, what we want in life, hyperrealism, why do I like reality tv shws so much, social media behaviour.

femininity

DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SAME IMAGES OR THINGS. MOVIE TURNS INTO BOOK TURNS INTO PHOTOWALL

PORTRAITS, IMAGES FROM MOVIE END UP IN PAINTING, before this happened I didnt like the painting, now it feels like everything belongs together, i like that.

ANNE IMHOF: her `performances are like creating images, these images consist of paintings, sound, performance etc. I like this. maybe i will built a stage.

i reallly enjoy these images, collect them also for paintings

In texts that we read or the round table discussions I felt that ´the artist´often is talked about as being different from ´normal´people. The Artist has different capabilities, different views on the world, is creative ((whatever that exactly means) is intelligent in a different way. In the text of Susan SOntag, About Interpretation, the artist seems to need or have great sensory skills, Hito stereyl talks in her text about the phenomena that artists are politically critical but not so often towards the arts or the artworld itself. Keep in mind that these texts are old. I still feel and see that the (outdated) ideas of artist genius, mythical beinga are still present. Nowadays artists also need other capacities, they need to be socially, politicaly,environmentaly whateveraly interested. The Essay of Camiel van WInkel talks about the Myths of artisthood, It talks baout the milion varieing opinions and ideas about whta artists should be and do and how maybe art and artist is a contructed thing that only keeps its value and reason because we believe in it. HOw many myths have i believed in I ask myself. DO i keep creating my own stories about being an artist.
A friend of mine once said, DOnt forget that what theyre telling you at school is not the real world. I wonder then, what is the real world for an artist? I know that the context of artschool is nt the real world, is the professional art world of galleries and money making the real world? are you a real artist if you dissapear from daily life and hibernate in your stinky attick or romantic gardenhouse to expressyourself a realistic idea about being an artist. I realize that making art for me is nt somthing that comes without skepticism and ease. Its actually way more easy to not make work. in my gap year I found myself waiting for it, will it come? the need to make something? it didnt. Currently at the artschool, it makes a lot of sense to be making work and i realize I need a reason to make work, an external reason maybe, or a context. I do not identify with the artist genius, with mythical beings. I came up with an idea that might keep me going. I want my artistic practice to feel more like work. how and why and what are teh questions i am investigating at the moment. What is work, Why when im painting do i Daydream about working at the Zuidas in AMsterdam in a suit, going for errands and planning an agenda, can i have this 9 tot 5 mentality. If the world goes to shit what would you like to do? move to a village and work on the field. why does working on the field or baking bread feel more like honest and real work, why does art sometimes feel like a trick? I find a lot of dualities in my ideas and dreams of who i want to be personally and artistically. at the moment Im mixing them to create narratives and investigate identity and art as work. What happens when my fascination for instagram celbrities and their fake nails go to work on the field? why does the painter in me rather go out and buy a suit for a non existing job intereview as assistant? this mixups are the starting points of the fictional stories I try to make, never to be an endpoint but rather a element in the research.

I paint kim kardashian: dont like the result.

why doesnt this work? painting: kim kardashian paparazi moment 2 x, doesnt really look like paparazi moment, bit of a Okay maybe its nice to paint this, it relates to my interest. Often ´maybe its nice to paint this´doesnt work out good. I feel like I was pushing a concept or subject too much into painting here. there is no added value to painting these things for me, why should i paint this? pictures are better. if i think this things i probably shouldnt paint it.

PORTRAITS, SELFPORTRAITS. Artists are just narcists who like to paint themselves. is a sentence I read on the internet once and keeps appearing in my thoughs whenever I paint a woman who looks like me, or an actual selfportrait. Is it all about me? My work is definietly very personal and Its something that makes me doubt a lot. I´d like my work to be about more than myself, more than selfexpression . Im not sure how to d approach this yet. But this is maybe the main reason ive been struggling with my paintings since the beginning. I paint quit intuitively, I sometimes see a nice image and use that as a reference. Often I paint people, and at the beginning of this schoolyear I was super done with that. I have a love hate relationship with my paintings because they feel like a final work and therefor need to incluce everything im working on, reading about etc and this is not really possible. I decided to stop painting people and use abstract shapes and leftover cavas to make work, a lot of contrcuting and decontructing. I didnt really like the result until Pieces of the movie I made found their way into the compoistion.The paintings fit in a context, they made sense. I dont know hwhat my paintings communicate without context or concept. this is something I wanted to figure out in this study. I did find that by changing the things i paint or the way I paint i get answers to my question that I wasnt looking for s o after the first semester I decided to go back to painting whatever I felt like, people, not think too much of it and see painting as something thta also happens in my work, but not the main thing. I focus on creating the stories and the paintings will happen anyway. because always paint. To the right are some works I made that did come from the contruct deconstruct method and I quite like.

Is a selfportrait personal ?

the portrait above is a sefportrait, its from a selfie i made for a facebook profile picture, i wanted to have something funny as a profile picture instead of a ´look at how cute i am, look I could be a model ´kind of picture. the canvas frame I MAde myself, its very crooked. Im not a builder. I have some anxiety when it comes to skills/ experience i dont have but feel like i should have. for example, making a frame and streching canvas. Im also a messy and fast worker, dont care too much about quality of brushes or paint ( also cos i cant afford them) I dont care if i cut a fabric crooked. I like to be part of a trashy club. So i decided to fit my aesthtic and avoid anxiety and make my own canvas frame. I liked it at first but now it really annoys me because it adds too much to the painting that i dont feel like belongs there.

the paintings on the left are also selfportraits. I really like them but also feel slightly conflicted about painting myself again. I had a talk with Jacco about this. He proposed to dive deeper into this uneasy feeling of painting myself and maybe go all the way painting myself in how he said i ´way you dont want your mother to see´ I enjoy this idea. We talked about the `how can I make this about me´zeitgeist. a Specific attittude that is fascinating for me. it´s cringy when youre not aware that you are in fact making it all about you. Keeping up with the kardashians is also cringy, and they definitely make it all about themselves yet I still watch it.

individualism?

4 paintings in 1, performative painting? isnt too much about the painting maybe

This is a commision painting, I was asked to make an album cover. There had t o be: a woman, a dog, a gun. I felt like it was worth trying a commision,since I said that I might need exterenal reason to work .I didnt like painting like this At all.

also dont like the result, stylistic.

Pieces of old canvas, found footage, personal pictures, pictures from other work, maccadamia nut bag, notes. fabric dye try out.